Where have all the great central defensive duos gone? Rarely can the top sides have let in so many dodgy goals. Just as Mertesacker and Koscielny start to impress for Arsenal they let in five at Liverpool.
Liverpool’s Kolo Toure recently played a suicidal pass across his own goal to gift West Brom an equaliser, Manchester City’s Demichelis has often looked vulnerable, as has David Luiz when played at centre back by Chelsea. While at Man United Vidic is on his bike and Evans and Smalling have not convinced as successors to Rio Ferdinand.
What our teams need is more granite-faced defensive duos who would kick their grandmothers to prevent a goal. Here are some greats from the past.
6. Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson

Formed a great partnership at Liverpool in the 1980s. As Lawrenson says, you have to be a pessimist as a defender, always assuming your mate is going to miss the ball, or wear a bad taste shirt on the TV sofa. Hansen was an elegant ball-playing centre back while Lawrenson showed great anticipation in the tackle. No diabolical defending with these two around. Lawrenson won five title medals and Hansen eight.
5. Steve Bruce and Gary Pallister

Man United’s first title under Fergie was founded on these twin rocks at the back. Bruce was uncompromising and committed, scoring the goal in Fergie Time that won United their first title in 26 years in 1993. Pallister was a 6ft 4in giant with surprising speed and ball control. They won three titles, three FA Cups, the League Cup and Cup Winners’ Cup together. The pair were nicknamed ‘Dolly and Daisy’, but we can forgive them that.
4. John Terry and Ricardo Carvalho

Chelsea’s duo were vital in Jose Mourinho’s two title winning sides of 2005 and 2006. Terry was a natural organiser – brave, a master at last-ditch interventions and a regular scorer of headers from set pieces. Carvalho was an elegant Portuguese centre back who had speed, mobility and the skill of a midfield player. The pair only let in a miserly 15 goals in the title-winning 2004-05 season.
3. Jack Charlton and Bobby Moore

In England’s 1966 World Cup-winning side and the 1970 quarter-finals, the defensive duo perfectly complemented each other. Charlton was a great giraffe in the air who liked to clatter his centre forward, while Moore was a natural sweeper, an immaculate tackler able to play penetrating balls out of defence. Witness the way he finds Geoff Hurst for England’s final goal in the 4-2 World Cup Final win over West Germany at Wembley.
2. Tony Adams and Steve Bould

There’s still 1990s forwards trapped in the old Highbury trying to escape their offside trap. Adams and Bould starred in both George Graham’s ‘1-0 to the Arsenal’ years and the early seasons of the Arsene Wenger era. Both were great in the air and uncompromising tacklers, but Wenger taught them to play a bit too. Bould’s chipped ball to Adams for Arsenal’s fourth in a 4-0 victory over Everton was a highlight of the 1997-98 double season. Adams, who won titles in three different decades, even looked unbeatable when he was an alcoholic, which takes some doing.
1. Warren United and Dillip

And then there’s me and my mate Dillip. Impregnable defensive duo for Brainsford United, tougher than my kitchen’s granite worktop surface, and more clean sheets than my Missus Ingrid could dream of. Do their best defensive work after refueling at Burger Al’s. If you cut them they would bleed Meringues. At least in my dreams…