So, what exactly made Hull City owner Assem Allam decide that he wanted to change the club’s name to Hull Tigers? Is it all to do with corporate rebranding and making the Premier League more US-sounding, so we have the equivalent of the Chicago Bears on the Humber? Or could it just be that he’s a big kid at heart and loves the club’s cuddly mascot Rory the Tiger?
With Hull City playing at Arsenal on Wednesday, whose mascot is the Gunnersaurus Rex, it might be more fun if the game was rebranded as Gunnersaurus Rex versus the Tigers. It’s got a pleasing hint of World Wrestling Entertainment meets Jurassic Park to it and would certainly appeal to a global TV audience. The Gunnersaurus is an interesting character in his own right, having once refused to shake John Terry’s hand and could probably give more illuminating post-match roars than some players.
If we pursue Mr Allam’s precedent, a typical Premier League weekend might end up with results like: Cyril the Swan 3 Monty Magpie 1; Chirpy Cockerel 1 Stamford the Lion 1; Pottermus 1 Baggie Bird 0; Billy the Badger 2 Captain Canary 1; Hercules the Lion 2 Hammerhead 2, and so on.
In the Championship, Burnley’s mascot Bertie the Bee recently made headlines when he was sent off for offering his glasses to the referee’s assistant in a match against QPR. A local der-bee would occur when Bertie the Bee took on Brentford’s Buzz Bee or possibly even Watford’s Harry the Hornet or Barnet’s Mr Bumble.
Crystal Palace versus Brighton would be Eagles versus Seagulls, or to use the official mascot names, it might end up with a score of Pete The Eagle 1 Gully the Seagull 1. Imagine Charlotte Green reading out the score “Donny the Dog 3 Scunny the Bunny 2” for a match between the clubs formerly known as Doncaster Rovers and Scunthorpe United. While The City Gent at Bradford could take on Mr Posh at Peterborough.
Admittedly, the league might soon start to sound like it was compiled by a kindergarten teacher, but it would certainly attract a younger demographic with all those tigers, lions, bunnies and bees, not to mention Terry the Terrier at Huddersfield, H’Angus the Monkey at Hartlepool and the Devilish Fred the Red at Man United.
Assem Allam’s Tiger feat at Hull has been much misunderstood so let’s not give him too much of a mauling. He is a visionary whose time has come – let’s liven up football with a bunch of animals.