It’s not often that one weekend throws up so much controversy, including Wayne Rooney’s worst nightmare, but a number of our footballing heroes have just experienced ‘a bad day at the office’.
Here are the gaffers and players who had a ’mare last weekend…
6. Wayne Rooney
Saw his side lose 3-0 at home to hated rivals Liverpool and go 14 points behind the Scousers.
Rooney also had to play up front with a moody Dutchman who won’t pass to him, didn’t get any service from that Belgian with the comedy hairstyle and then saw Liverpool fans holding up a “David Moyes is a Football Genius” banner.
Wayne described the game as “my worst nightmare”, which is saying something when you’ve admitted visiting a brothel as a teenager, been exposed in the tabloids for liaisons with escort Jenny Thompson, been sent off for England in the World Cup and humiliatingly dropped by Fergie for a home match against Real Madrid.
5. Jose Mourinho
Saw two Chelsea players sent off at Villa, protesting as Willian was booked a second time for an innocuous tussle. Ramires was then red carded for a dreadful challenge.
Jose and Paul Lambert both went onto the pitch, but ref Chris Foy only red-carded Mourinho. The fourth official then ignored his classic open-armed “what, me?” gesture of innocence and pointed to the stand. Jose then had to listen to a rousing “F••k off Mourinho!” from the Holt End.
4. Vincent Kompany
Only lasted ten minutes at Hull City after being caught trying to dribble out of defence and then sent off for tugging Nikica Jelavic’s shirt as the striker ran through on goal.
After first shouting at the ref, Kompany then stormed off down the tunnel and showing all the self-control of a toddler was filmed kicking the tunnel wall in frustration. Vincent then had to witness the maligned Demichelis look a much better player without him.
3. Alan Pardew
Banned from stadiums for seven matches, Pards had to watch his Newcastle side lose to bottom of the table Fulham from his hotel room. He was as powerless as the rest of us watching TV and will have been exasperated that Dejagah’s shot went straight through Tim Krul.
Did manage to get a couple of calls through to assistant John Carver, but probably sounded as demented as all those other blokes on football phone-ins. Enough to drive any gaffer to the mini-bar.
2. Tim Sherwood
Saw Spurs lose at home to hated rivals Arsenal, their third defeat on the trot and got his managerial flouncing all wrong by throwing his gilet at the dugout in exasperation as the Gunners broke through the Spurs defence.
With his gilet he looked like a barrow boy turned banker on a skiing holiday, without it he looked like an ageing Spandau Ballet fan in a polo neck. Sherwood then threw the ball at Bacary Sagna before a throw-in and just as it looked like he was up for some Pardew-esque nutting, he meekly shook the Arsenal player’s hand.
1. Warren Kingsley
Have to admit, I had a nightmare too and got a bit carried away watching my local side Brainsford United. All I did was run into the technical area, shove Fat Baz out of the way and call the referee an anchor, or something like that… no way did it deserve a red card.